Autumn

Lately I have been questioning is this it for me. Is being in a committed relationship and being a mom all there is to me? Is that all there is in this world? It feels like it at times. I’m here to say I don’t feel fulfilled. I am never fully satisfied and always want more. Whether it be in my career or my personal life or in a relationship. I just yearn for more of a meaning. I yearn to find more and do more of what makes me happy. Is there anyone else in this world that feels the same?

Maybe it’s just me but I can’t seem to sit still, both literally and figuratively. As Autumn approaches, I can’t believe it’s been another year and another full round of seasons. Where does the time go?

I’m struggling with so much right now. I am constantly figuring out how to be a better mom to my baby. I am figuring out how to be a better partner. I am figuring out what makes me happy and also how to take back my happiness.

It’s true, I don’t always feel happy these days. Some days, I do, and other days I feel lost or just down on myself. It’s hard to say these things out loud. I recently started to fully work on myself. To establish a happier life and to better myself for my own well being. I talk about this often in most of my blogs. It’s just so hard to be a full time working mom in a committed relationship and maintaining a home, and cooking healthy meals, and then on top of all that taking care of me somehow. It’s nearly impossible.

I’m still figuring everything out. I am trying to balance it all, to maintain the struggle and then to ultimately find my in-between. Today was a short blog with some of my feelings. Because maybe another momma out there is struggling like I am and she needed to hear that she is not alone. Sometimes, that’s what I need to feel better, is just hear that I’m not alone and there are other’s going through exactly what I am going through. Knowing that in the end, we are all going to be ok.

Just like the seasons change, so do we. I find myself loosing my mind more and more each day, yet here I am…still here! I keep evolving into a person that I am learning how to become every day. I am learning to be this woman who continues to evolve, as we all should be.

xo Jovi

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