It’s our biggest enemy yet arguably the most precious thing we have.
Time works against us, for us, with us and is all around us. Funny enough, it’s something we yearn for. And equally, it’s something we despise.
Time has always seemed to come and go, but even more so now that my life has grown. Now that I have a family, time escapes my clutches faster than I can blink. I simply want it all to stop; stand still if you will. I want her first steps back. I want her to need me to hang on to when she was learning to walk. I want her first time she rolled over to play over and over again. I want to relive every single moment that has made my heart flutter with joy. Which is basically everyday since I found out I was pregnant with my Olivia. I tell my boyfriend everyday that she is growing too fast. Time is my enemy right now.
I take endless photos of every moment, while some moments are kept to store in my own memory. I call those my take it in memories. The moment she falls asleep on my chest. The moments she kisses me on the lips and giggles. The mornings in bed on weekends. I could go on and on.
I have found over time–that time itself is inevitable. It’s terrible, it’s selfish, and it’s not always in our hands. All we can do is savor every moment of our lives. It’s difficult to come to grasps with the concept of time and all its inglorious trials. But time with my Olivia is what I prayed for. Time with my family is what I have always longed for.
The only injustice we could ever do to ourselves, is to waste time. I spend my days carefully enjoying the moments. I choose this over that, because it means more time with Olivia. I regret days wasted.
Time is all we have in this world. And it will always be by your side, if you choose to let it be.
(Originally written on 02.07.2017)